Many conflicts, arguments and disagreements tend to stem from the fact that we assume the offending party set out to harm us in some way. In other words, they have an evil agenda or negative intent.

A better way of moving forward and making progress, be it as a global economy or even in our day-to-day interpersonal relationships, is to always assume positive intent.

In trying times, it is quite easy to fall into a mode of thinking where we look around and think everything is falling apart and nothing makes sense anymore. It might seem that everyone is out to get us and there is little hope.

If we take a step back, however, we can use tools like prayer or meditation to get into an objective state of mind and realize that everyone is acting according to their incentives and circumstances, and by and large, people are wired to be good to others around them, unless they suffer from some psychological problem that makes them act otherwise.

Once we assume positive intent, instead of defaulting to judgment and anger, we take on an inquisitive stance. We ask of the other party: “what are you trying to achieve by this behavior”.

Oftentimes, it’s even better to try to take a minute and take an educated guess on the other person’s needs and objectives. This is because many people don’t even know why they act the way they do. It’s often easier for a third party to understand someone’s behavior, which is why we have counselors, psychologists etc. to help us out.

When we start out from this position together with an inquisitive and non-judgmental attitude, it is guaranteed that we will at least be in a better psychological state ourselves. As a bonus, sometimes we can enter into a productive discussion that ends up changing the other person’s behavior or opinion, although this shouldn’t be our main goal.

When I was a young kid I was brought up to always strive for excellence in academic subjects and in sport, although it applied to most other areas as well.

Perhaps the area in which this strive for excellence had the biggest impact on me is the academic. Education in Malta in my time was very competitive, with exams being a do or die affair that determined whether you would advance to the next year or not.

Failing, especially in the year end exams, was pretty much unacceptable as it would mean a ruined summer studying for the resits in September, potentially losing all friends if you fail to advance to the next year, and feeling like a total failure. Not to mention the scolding to be received from parents and teachers for not trying hard enough.

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I thought I’d share my thoughts on how the Coronavirus situation will be affecting the world in the coming weeks and months from different perspectives.

The key takeaway from all that is happening, in my opinion, would be this:

Don’t panic, but don’t stick your head in the ground like an Ostrich either.

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Over the course of the past couple of years, I’ve learned to identify myself as a multipotentialite. I’ve known since my childhood that I was different from most people in that I had an insanely varied and ever-changing range of interests, but I never knew how to explain why.

Reading recent books like Refuse to Choose and regular psychotherapy has helped me understand my characteristics better.

There were many times why I wondered what was wrong with me for always having too many things I wanted to do and seemingly never going to the very end in any project I undertook. There seemed to be some hidden finish line where my heart would suddenly decide that I’ve done enough of this thing and it’s time to move on to the next. My heart and my mind used to be at odds as I would interpret this as a failure and struggle to understand why I’m finding it so hard to continue investing time and energy into something I was obsessed about just a few months ago.

In the light of multipotentiality, this all makes sense, so here’s some more information about multipotentialites, scanners, or renaissance souls; all these terms refer to the same kind of person.

Typical multipotentialite traits:

• Have an unusually wide range of interests and a low tolerance for boredom
• Change jobs, careers and/or fields of study more often than most
• Follow their energy and inspiration more easily than a schedule or calendar
• Either have lots of diverse projects on the go at once, or bury themselves in one project until they lose interest and move on to something different
• Are better at starting projects than finishing them
• Prefer variety rather than concentrating on one single thing
• Will lose interest in a topic or task when they’ve learned what they wanted to know or achieved a particular goal
• When they reach a goal or level of success, they decide to change to something different, rather than going deeper into the same subject or project

Do you identify with the above? It can be a revelatory moment to understand that you’re not alone and there’s nothing wrong with you. I highly suggest working with a psychotherapist once you’ve identified as a multipotentialite, so you can get past any negative emotional feelings about yourself and flourish.

Some further resources that will help:

• The Creative Introvert podcast