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Using Representational Systems for More Effective Communication

Published: January 10, 2018Leave a Comment

Back in 2008 I had taken an NLP course which proved to be quite useful. One of the most important things I had learnt in the course is that people have different representational systems that they use to learn things. It’s important to understand what representational system the person you are communicating uses, because only then can you communicate in the most effective manner.

At the time I was teaching, and this insight helped me change the way I delivered lessons to make sure I covered everyone’s preferred way of learning. In a class setting it was very easy to see how true these systems are, and I achieved very good results with them.

So without further ado, here are the notes I had taken and published on my old blog. They are still as true now as they were back then, so I thought I’d re-publish this here.

Representational systems are used to identify how people learn and remember things. Being aware of the four representational systems and the preferred preference of a person will help you communicate better.

“When you’re learning about people’s strategies to understand how they make a decision, you also need to know their main representational system so you can present your message in a way that gets through” -Anthony Robbins

Here is a description of the four representational systems. Further down you can also find a link to a test which will help you identify your preferred system.

V:Visual

People who are visual often stand or sit with their heads and/or bodies erect, with their eyes up. They will be breathing from the top of their lungs. They often sit forward in their chair and tend to be organized, neat, well-groomed and orderly. They memorize by seeing pictures, and are less distracted by noise. They often have trouble remembering verbal instructions because their midns tend to wander. A visual person will be interested in how your product LOOKS. Appearances are important to them. They are often thin and wiry.

A: Auditory

People who are auditory will move their eyes sideways. They breathe from the middle of their chest. They tipically talk to themselves, and are easily distracted by noise (some even move their lips when they talk to themselves). They can repeat things back to you easily, they learn by listening, and usually like music and talking on the phone. They memorize by steps, procedures, and sequences (sequentially). The auditory person likes to be TOLD how they’re doing, and responds to a certain tone of voice or set of words. They will be intersted in what you have to say about your product.

K: Kinesthetic

People who are kinesthetic will typically be breathing from the bottom of their lungs, so you’ll see their stomach go in and out when they breathe. They often move and talk very slowly. They respond to physical rewards, and touching. They also stand closer to people than a visual person. They memorise by doing or walking though something. They will be interested in your product if it “feels right”.

AD: Auditory Digital

This person will spend a fair amount of time talking to themselves. They will want to know if your product “makes sense”. The auditory digital person can exhibit characteristics of the other major representational systems. AD people prefer logic, facts and thoughts to feelings. They often have conversations going on inside their heads, and can sometimes have difficult sleeping because they can’t switch off at the end of the day.

AD people like to think things through, and make sense of the world with logic, facts and figures. They can sometimes be oblivious to their physical comfort or discomfort, as they often think about how they feel rather than just feeling it. Sometimes they may confuse a conversation they had in their mind with an actual conversation, which can get them in trouble! Approximately 10% of the population are Auditory Digital.

Are you ready to discover your preferred representational system? Take the representational test now!

How to practice what you’ve learnt

Your exercise this month is to pick a significant person in your life and listen to the types of words they use. You will notice they will probably use all types of the visual, auditory and kinesthetic words…but one type will usually predominate. Then practice translating your language to their system.

If they say “I don’t see your point,” don’t say “Let me repeat it,” instead say “Let me show you what I mean.”

If they say “What you’re suggesting doesn’t feel right to me,” don’t say “Take a different view,” instead say “Let’s touch upon the points another way.”

If they say “I’ve tuned you out,” don’t say “You’re insensitive,” instead say “Lets talk it over.”

Then practice with other people you know, and listen to conversations on radio or television to develop your skills. Eventually you will find yourself doing it automatically. Become aware of how other people think, become flexible in how you respond, and develop excellent communication skills.

Filed under: Thoughts & Experiences

Padel Progress Report – Year 1 (2017)

Last updated: February 06, 2021Leave a Comment

Group shot after the padel masterclass with top players Gemma Triay and Lucia Sainz.

I will remember 2017 as a great year from a sporting perspective, mainly because I really got addicted to padel and trained seriously to improve my game.

Early on during the year, I decided that I would focus a lot of time and energy on this sport and follow the example of the Expert in a Year website and the controversial 10,000 hour rule and associated books. Basically, the idea is to give it my best shot and see how far I can go. It’s one more challenge for me.

In recent years I realized that my personality type is best suited to focus on a big projects for a number of years before moving on to something else. I have a wide range of interest and I also find it easy to focus really hard on something that catches my fancy, but I can only do it for a few years before something else catches my eye. For the next few years, I hope that padel will be one of these big projects.

[Read more…]

Filed under: Padel

Best Car Rental and Car Sharing Websites in Spain

Last updated: March 25, 20247 Comments

Here are the best car rental and car sharing websites that I’ve come across in Spain. Some of them offer ridesharing too, which is a good alternative to traveling by bus, train or airplane.

Blablacar

Blablacar is a great way to travel cheaply around Spain by sharing rides with other drivers. As a passenger, you benefit from paying lower fares, and as a driver, you can make money by taking on board passengers.

Yescapa

Yescapa is available in several countries and is a great platform if you want to hire motorhomes and campervans from other people.

Getaround

Getaround is another platform for renting cars from other people, without having to use a car rental company. This will give you a wider choice of cars and better prices.

Filed under: Expat life

Mental Training for Padel

Published: December 26, 20171 Comment

Mental preparation is a big factor in padel matches. Here are some tips to prepare yourself in the best way for your next padel matches.

Use Affirmations and Internal Dialogue

Practice these techniques during training as well as during competitive matches. During the tough moments of a match, encourage yourself with internal Diageo such as “I can do it!”. Don’t allow thoughts such as “My adversary seems to be better than I am” to enter your head. If you serve a bad ball or make a silly mistake in a volley, keep calm and move forward. Select a phrase that you can go back to during tough moments.

Utilize Breathing Routines

Regularly practice full breathing exercises. Before a match it’s very helpful to listen to music that aids in calming you down and breathe deeply. You can also select a visual image to go with this breathing routine. For example, you can imagine yourself returning a ball in spectacular fashion. This will ensure that you enter the match fully focused and confident in your abilities, while at the same time getting rid of debilitating states such as anxiety and stress.

Relax

After tough training sessions practice progressive relaxation to rid your muscles of the tension that naturally builds up. Keep in mind that while playing and training you are also using your brain and that is also a resource that gets depleted, just like your legs. You need to sleep well and enjoy periods of relaxation so that your mental status returns back to the very best before you approach your next training session or match.

Practice Visualisation

The top athletes of any sport make heavy use of visualisation. Basically this consists of visualising yourself playing in a match and going through the motions. Imagine you are serving in a particular way, and how your opponent will return the ball and where you will place the next shot. This will help internalise certain tactics and they will come out naturally during the actual match.

Under this heading we can also put watching top players in their matches. On YouTube you will find the recordings of the finals of the World Padel Tour, and you can also watch them live if you wish. I like to pick a side during matches so that I will feel all the pressure that they would feel if they are on the losing end, and also keep the concentration when they are winning. A very common mistake is that of having different levels of concentration during matches, and watching other matches while making the effort to maintain full concentration of each ball will help you in your own matches.

Consider Your Opponents

Try to obtain as much information about your opponents as possible. You can watch videoclips of them playing, or watch them playing in previous matches of the tournament that you are playing in. If none of those opportunities present themselves, make sure you use the warming up time of your match to observe how your opponent hits the ball and what are his weak and strong shots. Make sure you exchange information with your partner, as he will be warming up in parallel with the other opponent.

Use Video Recordings

Try to record your matches and later analyse them to see what your weaknesses are. Many times we think we are doing something one way, but when we see ourselves on video we realise that our image doesn’t match at all with our actual behaviour. That is a sure indication that something is off and needs correcting. Your coach will also help you in identifying these weaknesses and help you correct them.

Create Your Winning Imagery

Imagine yourself winning the match and how you would behave, and feel the happiness that comes with it. Go into your match with a definite expectation that your visualisation is a future reality, and the rest of the match is just the journey that will take you there.

Create a Pre-Match Routine

Anticipate distractions, prepare for them and minimise them. Familiarise yourself with the court you will be playing at, check out the weather and the sounds. Thirty minutes before the match, make sure you start your routine and enter your zone of maximum focus. Use whatever tools you prefer, such as a breathing exercise, listening to a particular tune, etc.

Hope you will find these tips on mental preparation for padel matches useful. Do you use any other techniques? Let me know!

Filed under: Padel

6 Principles to Influence and Persuade People

Published: December 21, 2017Leave a Comment

Here’s another post from my old blog (originally published in 2008), that I thought would be good to re-publish here.

A couple of years back Dr Robert Cialdini, an expert psychologist came up with a set of principles that can be applied in order to harness the power of persuasion and thus influence people. In today’s article I will talk about these six principles and how they can be used.

Principle No. 1 – Liking
People like those who are like them and who create bonds with them. It is important to create early bonds with new acquaintances by informally discovering common interests. This will make them more comfortable and increase their willingness to trust you. Praising other people will also generate more willing compliance.

Principle No. 2 – Reciprocity
People repay in kind, therefore you should develop a habit of giving what you want to receive. Help someone in need and it will be much more likely that he will help you back later.

Principle No. 3 – Social Proof
People follow the lead of similar others. Harness the power of peer power by getting one person from a group to approve your new initiative, the others will most likely follow.

Principle No. 4 – Consistency
People fulfill written, public, and voluntary commitments. Get things down in writing and publicise commitments, then it is more likely that people will fulfill those commitments.

Principle No. 5 – Authority
People believe experts who provide shortcuts to decisions requiring specialised information. The key here is to establish your expertise beforehand by for example describing how you solved a problem similar to the one at hand, or talking about your qualifications and experience, without being boastful.

Principle No. 6 – Scarcity
People value what’s scarce. This is a fact that can be observed in all areas of human behaviour eg. relationships, buying trends etc. You can also use it to your advantage by using exclusive information to persuade. Arouse their curiosity and attention by offering them something nobody knows about eg. “Very few people have heard about this technique…”

Apply these 6 principles in your relationships and you will see that your persuasion power will be better than ever before. Do you have any of your own tips on how to persuade and influence people?

Filed under: Thoughts & Experiences

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