The Dickens Process, named after the famous novelist Charles Dickens, is a unique approach to personal development and self-improvement that has been popularized by life coach and motivational speaker Tony Robbins.

The process is based on the themes and lessons present in Dickens’ classic novella, “A Christmas Carol,” in which the protagonist, Ebenezer Scrooge, is visited by the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future. Through these encounters, Scrooge is able to gain a deeper understanding of his own actions and motives, and ultimately transforms into a kinder and more compassionate person.

Similarly, the Dickens Process encourages individuals to take a reflective journey through their own past, present, and future, in order to gain a deeper understanding of themselves and their actions. By examining past experiences and memories, individuals can identify patterns and behaviors that may be holding them back, and work to overcome them.

The process also involves looking at the present moment and identifying areas of their life that they are dissatisfied with, and setting clear and specific goals for how to improve them. Lastly, individuals are encouraged to visualize their ideal future and the person they want to become, and take action towards making that vision a reality.

Listen to Tony himself describe the exercise and how to do it in this YouTube video:

So how do you do this exercise?

1. Close your eyes and visualize yourself in the present moment.
2. Imagine a future version of yourself, 10 years from now, who has achieved all of your goals and is living the life you desire.
3. See, hear and feel everything about this future version of yourself as vividly as possible. Imagine your surroundings, the people around you, and your emotions.
4. Now imagine going back in time and visiting different points in your past, starting with the most recent and going back further and further.
5. As you visit each point in your past, imagine how your future self would have handled the situation differently. Imagine how your future self would have acted, spoken and thought.
6. Continue going back through your past until you reach your childhood. Imagine how your future self would have handled your childhood experiences differently.
7. Finally, return to the present moment and open your eyes.

The idea behind this process is to help you gain a new perspective on your past and present, and to give you a clearer vision of the person you want to become in the future. By visualizing yourself as the person you want to be, you can start to take action to make that vision a reality.

I’m currently fluent in four languages (Maltese, English, Spanish and Italian), and I’m aiming to reach fluency in a few more languages within the next ten years.

I have some knowledge of Catalan, Portuguese, French and Russian too.

It’s fair to say that I’ve spent a good chunk of time dabbling in languages ever since my teenage years. I’ve also tried my hand at Chinese before realizing I didn’t have enough time or energy to get good at it. I still hope to get back to it at some point.

I’ve mostly used Duolingo, class lessons, and 1-to-1 lessons on Italki. I found Duolingo great for the initial steps and building vocabulary, while Italki is really good for advancing fast, provided you find the right teacher. I haven’t had great experiences in a class setting, except for when I took Catalan lessons, as we had a fantastic teacher and a great group of students as well.

Resources for Learning Spanish

Over the past ten years, I’ve been learning Spanish in different ways. Here are my favorite resources.

• italki – Find a great teacher for 1-1 sessions
• Profe de Ele – Website with explanations and exercises
• Duolingo – Great free app to get the basics in place.
• Mimic Method – Great for learning Pronunciation
• Gramática de uso del español – Best series of books for learning grammar.

Portuguese

You have Brazilian or European Portuguese. If your intention is to work or live in Portugal or other European territories I would recommend you learn the European version.

This is the website I use apart from having a teacher on iTalki:

Focus on Sound and Pronunciation

Most people struggle with sound, and it is quite evident that sound can be critical to being understood and understanding others.

[Read more…]

Back in 2008 I had taken an NLP course which proved to be quite useful. One of the most important things I had learnt in the course is that people have different representational systems that they use to learn things. It’s important to understand what representational system the person you are communicating uses, because only then can you communicate in the most effective manner.

At the time I was teaching, and this insight helped me change the way I delivered lessons to make sure I covered everyone’s preferred way of learning. In a class setting it was very easy to see how true these systems are, and I achieved very good results with them.

So without further ado, here are the notes I had taken and published on my old blog. They are still as true now as they were back then, so I thought I’d re-publish this here.

Representational systems are used to identify how people learn and remember things. Being aware of the four representational systems and the preferred preference of a person will help you communicate better.

“When you’re learning about people’s strategies to understand how they make a decision, you also need to know their main representational system so you can present your message in a way that gets through” -Anthony Robbins

Here is a description of the four representational systems. Further down you can also find a link to a test which will help you identify your preferred system.

V:Visual

People who are visual often stand or sit with their heads and/or bodies erect, with their eyes up. They will be breathing from the top of their lungs. They often sit forward in their chair and tend to be organized, neat, well-groomed and orderly. They memorize by seeing pictures, and are less distracted by noise. They often have trouble remembering verbal instructions because their midns tend to wander. A visual person will be interested in how your product LOOKS. Appearances are important to them. They are often thin and wiry.

A: Auditory

People who are auditory will move their eyes sideways. They breathe from the middle of their chest. They tipically talk to themselves, and are easily distracted by noise (some even move their lips when they talk to themselves). They can repeat things back to you easily, they learn by listening, and usually like music and talking on the phone. They memorize by steps, procedures, and sequences (sequentially). The auditory person likes to be TOLD how they’re doing, and responds to a certain tone of voice or set of words. They will be intersted in what you have to say about your product.

K: Kinesthetic

People who are kinesthetic will typically be breathing from the bottom of their lungs, so you’ll see their stomach go in and out when they breathe. They often move and talk very slowly. They respond to physical rewards, and touching. They also stand closer to people than a visual person. They memorise by doing or walking though something. They will be interested in your product if it “feels right”.

AD: Auditory Digital

This person will spend a fair amount of time talking to themselves. They will want to know if your product “makes sense”. The auditory digital person can exhibit characteristics of the other major representational systems. AD people prefer logic, facts and thoughts to feelings. They often have conversations going on inside their heads, and can sometimes have difficult sleeping because they can’t switch off at the end of the day.

AD people like to think things through, and make sense of the world with logic, facts and figures. They can sometimes be oblivious to their physical comfort or discomfort, as they often think about how they feel rather than just feeling it. Sometimes they may confuse a conversation they had in their mind with an actual conversation, which can get them in trouble! Approximately 10% of the population are Auditory Digital.

Are you ready to discover your preferred representational system? Take the representational test now!

How to practice what you’ve learnt

Your exercise this month is to pick a significant person in your life and listen to the types of words they use. You will notice they will probably use all types of the visual, auditory and kinesthetic words…but one type will usually predominate. Then practice translating your language to their system.

If they say “I don’t see your point,” don’t say “Let me repeat it,” instead say “Let me show you what I mean.”

If they say “What you’re suggesting doesn’t feel right to me,” don’t say “Take a different view,” instead say “Let’s touch upon the points another way.”

If they say “I’ve tuned you out,” don’t say “You’re insensitive,” instead say “Lets talk it over.”

Then practice with other people you know, and listen to conversations on radio or television to develop your skills. Eventually you will find yourself doing it automatically. Become aware of how other people think, become flexible in how you respond, and develop excellent communication skills.

Here’s another post from my old blog (originally published in 2008), that I thought would be good to re-publish here.

A couple of years back Dr Robert Cialdini, an expert psychologist came up with a set of principles that can be applied in order to harness the power of persuasion and thus influence people. In today’s article I will talk about these six principles and how they can be used.

Principle No. 1 – Liking
People like those who are like them and who create bonds with them. It is important to create early bonds with new acquaintances by informally discovering common interests. This will make them more comfortable and increase their willingness to trust you. Praising other people will also generate more willing compliance.

Principle No. 2 – Reciprocity
People repay in kind, therefore you should develop a habit of giving what you want to receive. Help someone in need and it will be much more likely that he will help you back later.

Principle No. 3 – Social Proof
People follow the lead of similar others. Harness the power of peer power by getting one person from a group to approve your new initiative, the others will most likely follow.

Principle No. 4 – Consistency
People fulfill written, public, and voluntary commitments. Get things down in writing and publicise commitments, then it is more likely that people will fulfill those commitments.

Principle No. 5 – Authority
People believe experts who provide shortcuts to decisions requiring specialised information. The key here is to establish your expertise beforehand by for example describing how you solved a problem similar to the one at hand, or talking about your qualifications and experience, without being boastful.

Principle No. 6 – Scarcity
People value what’s scarce. This is a fact that can be observed in all areas of human behaviour eg. relationships, buying trends etc. You can also use it to your advantage by using exclusive information to persuade. Arouse their curiosity and attention by offering them something nobody knows about eg. “Very few people have heard about this technique…”

Apply these 6 principles in your relationships and you will see that your persuasion power will be better than ever before. Do you have any of your own tips on how to persuade and influence people?